“…[P]ray not…”  (A part of Jeremiah 7:16 and taken out of context)

 

In the above passage God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the enemies of God for God would not listen as He had already decided to judge this people. I took the two (2) words from the passage to demonstrate and to teach how one can experience a disappointing Christ-ian life as this seems to be the goal for some believers.  We will use a bullet point form to show how one may have a “Saved soul but a lost life.”  The quoted portion of the previous sentence is a title to a message I heard years ago.

Many believers have a saved soul but their life is lost or in other words, their life is identical to the unsaved..  They are not living the abundant life Christ spoke of.  The fault is not the Lord’s, it is their’s.

In honour of the recent “National Opposite Day”, we will now teach how a saved soul can experience a lost life:

• Never ever pray.  If you refrain from a healthy prayer life you can be certain of a blah Christ-ian experience.  If you can keep your self faithful to a prayer-less life, you can be sure that things will remain the same and you will not experience the Presence of God and all the excitement and soul satisfaction that comes with the Presence of God.
• Never ever tell anyone about Christ, about His sinless life, His death, or His resurrection.  It’s too scary and too bold to tell others of Christ.  To tell others of Christ can be exciting and pleasing to God and may even bring someone to the Cross and the Empty Tomb!!!  Therefore, do not ever share Christ with another.  Another benefit of sharing Christ is the Gospel becomes your Gospel and the Gospel will become experiential and will add so much to your life. Like I said, Don’t ever share Christ……ever…..not ever..dough… dough…. dough… don’t doooo iTT….ever.
• Never ever forgive another who seeks forgiveness.  Also, don’t ever go to another person if they have offended you and get things right. Instead and in order to live a lost life, get really, really bitter inside.  Be angry all the time and look for all the bad in others. But always remember…you are perfect.
• Never ever go out of your way for another person and always do unto others BEFORE they do it unto you.  Be very judgemental of others and “giant-size” their faults and weaknesses and thank the ceiling that you are so much better than everyone else, you know, like the Pharisee in Christ’s parable….Christ really thought a lot of the Pharisee and their blindness.  He called them vipers and serpents are always portrayed as good in Scripture. He also congratulated the Pharisee on their acting skills by calling them hypocrites.
• Never ever love your enemies or bless them or pray for them.  Instead prop yourself up on a high horse so you can look down upon them in anger, judgement, and condescending disappointment.
• Never ever overcome evil with good. One should always take revenge and lower one’s self.  Never ever “get even” with someone, always out do them in doing wrong.
• Never ever extend a helping hand to another. Instead simply look sad and tell them to be “Warmed and filled.”
• Never ever and I mean never ever…ever…evereverever read and study the Bible.  All the action, adventure, wickedness, justice, love…..blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc. is too preachy, too educational, too inspiring, and you aren’t smart enough to figure out what thee and thou means.  The Bible, that is written at a sixth (6th) grade level, is far too complicated for you to understand and benefit from.
• Never ever go to church or fellowship with others.  But if you were to “do church” you might find out you aren’t alone and that Christ-ians are fun and beneficial to be around. If you ever find yourself in a church, do not pay attention, instead judge everyone around you or continue to look down at your god, err, I mean phone, and get out as soon as the service ends…..by saying, as soon as the service ends, I mean as soon as the praying person begins to annunciate N in Amen, GO! Go! Go! Get out of there!!! Get out of there before someone says, Hi or hello or it’s nice to see you. After all you are doing the preacher and the church ” a solid” by even being there.
• Never ever fall for the “Trust God in all things” spiel. Instead, you should worry, fret, sweat, and whine because that’s what people do.
• Never ever express thankfulness or gratitude to God for all that He has done, is doing, and will do. Ignore Proverbs 3 and never acknowledge God in all of your ways. If you ignore God long enough, like bills and responsibilities, He will just “Go away.”
• Never ever listen to Christ-ian music or proper preaching on the radio when you are in the car. Never listen to CDs that will educate, inspire, help you grow, or draw you closer to God. Instead dwell upon all the disappointing persons in your life. Focus on all the negatives and ignore all that is good and right.
• Never ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes as Hebrews 13 teaches. You might see things differently, you might understand things better, you might even become aware of how you might pray for another…eck!
• Always, always, always and in every way, be like everyone else. Engage the world and it’s wicked and evil ways. Do not be an individual thinker or do-er.
• Above all else, Never ever, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God” because when you do that, all the good stuff will come. Never ever put Christ or anyone ahead of yourself. Never ever sacrifice or deny thyself anything, do not take up your cross and do not follow Christ.

 

So there it is…. There you have it…Now you know how to live a lost life, a perpetually disappointing life and a life filled….overflowing with discouragement. One (1) last thing, never ever praise God.

Godspeed….err, Good Luck, enough with the Godspeed, let us rely upon the ambiguousness of chance.