“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”  (Ephesians 5)

 

While the Scriptures are written specifically and in particular to Christ-ians, there is much in the Word that would benefit those who are not Christ-ians.  How do we know this?  We know this because many in the church are not Christ-ians, in truth. They are Christ-ian in feax profession only. However, these tares or weeds among God’s true wheat, do benefit by what s/he learns from Scripture.

This article will, (DV= God willing in latin abbreviation), provide good and sound counsel to young persons seeking a spouse or will be seeking a spouse. This article can also counsel those who are in the dating world. This article can be useful to both the Christ-ian and the non-Christ-ian.

Some of the counsel will be spiritual in nature and some will be helpful to the natural person.
*Never marry a person that mistreats their parents and other family members. This person will mistreat you. Do not marry anyone with parents that demonstrate anti-social behaviours.
*Never marry anyone that has mistreated animals.  This person is likely to abuse those weaker than them and that includes children.
*Never marry anyone that has a prediliction to fire.
*Never marry anyone who urinated in their bed when they were well into their upper childhood years.  The last three (3) nevers above are called the “MacDonald Triad.”  These are signs that can, but not always, predict a psycho/sociopath.
*Never marry anyone who is divorced many times.  You are not the one that will break the divorce record. Many divorces speak to the person’s attitude toward marriage and committment.  The divorcee seeks the easy way out.
*Especially for the Christ-ian, “Do not be unequally yoked” with an unbeliever or even with a believer that has not the same passion for Christ as you, for you will rue the day as will any children God gives you.
*If you are not a believer in Christ, do not date and do not marry a Christ-ian, you will rue the day as will any children God shall give you.
*Do not marry into a family or rather do not marry a family with a bad history. When you marry a person, you are married to their family.
*Do not marry a person who does not have a forever attitude.  Marriage is forever and if your chosen or if even you do not have that forever attitude, marry not. Divorce should not ever enter your mind, it should not even be in your vocabulary.
*Never marry a cheater, cheaters do not changes, cheaters cheat period.
*If you are a cheater, never marry.  Even if the cheater never cheats again, do you want to live the rest of your life wondering if your spouse is cheating everytime they are late or go on a business trip or just go out?
*Putting feelings and emotions aside, using reason and logic, being objective as you can be, is this person suited to you?  Reader, being “in love” is not the same thing as love.  “In love” is a chemical reaction, called oxytocin. Oxytocin is in chocalate and peas and in your brain.  The excitement you feel about that special person will die down. That great feeling and it is a great feeling, being in love will expire and then you are left with reality and a person you have promised to be one with forever. Set feelings and emotions aside and assess, and analyze this special person in a spirit or in the mindset of indifference.

How to stay married.
*You must…must…must think of your spouse before you think of yourself.
*Your spouse must…must…must think of you before they think of themself.
*As our quoted passage above states, You each are to submit one to the other.
*”Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” This means a wife should be able to trust her husbands love for her and should know she is thought of first (1st) when deciding things. Paul goes on to say, “as unto the Lord.” This means you submit to your husband as you submit to the Lord. Husbands, before you expect your wife to submit to you, you should be Christ-like and you should do as Christ has done and give yourself for her.
*Think not of submitting as a bad thing or a chauvinistic thing as (s)atan will use that against you and your family. A team that works well together has authorities and subordinates, this team does not think about positions, they simply work well together. So should the married couple. Look at it this way, The husband submits to the Lord, the wife submits to the husband, and the children submit and obey the parents.  In all of this. all persons are submitting unto the Lord, through others.

Reader, I am blessed to be married to the woman who was made espesially for me.  It is a blessed thing when you know that.  It is blessed to know that each of you complete each other. She makes up for my deficits and they are many, and I make up for her very, very few deficits.  Together we make up one whole person as God intended.

Young Reader, Take heed to these sound counsels.  Be not hasty in choosing a spouse, trust God to provide you a spouse in His time.  C.S. Lewis married when he was in his fifties (50’s). Take your time and wait upon the Lord’s certain person for you. While you wait, if you be Christ-ian, pray for that special unknown person. Pray the Lord’s blessings upon him or her. Pray and ask God to develop, in that person, a godly and therefore a loving heart. Pray and ask God to develop in you both the attributes that will complete each other.

Reader, Do not follow your heart. Do not take a leap of faith. Do not commit to another because it feels right. What happens when it feels wrong?

*”Marriage is not a word but a sentence.” I do not mean that jokingly or in any way derogative.  Marriage is forever. Even if you divorce by man’s law, you are still married in God’s eyes, “What God has joined together let no man put assunder.”  This is why Scripture calls the divorcee an adulterer-ess if they marry again as well as their new spouse. Both partners in a second marriage are considered adulterers by God because man’s law does not negate God’s law ever.

Take your vow seriously because God does. Anyone thinking about marriage is welcome to seek our counsel.

*Scarlet Pimpernel”

Godspeed.