“there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ.”  (Galatians 3)

 

How can one (1) think and say one (1) is not a feminist, yet think women are equal to men. You may have realized we have been writing on pastoral qualifications and disqualification.  One qualification and a very important qualification is the man must keep his house in order because if he cannot do that, he will not keep the church in order, as he must be faithful in the little things before God will give him the responsibility in greater or bigger things.

Not bigger, as in the ministry being more important than his family, but as in the church requiring far more attention because there are far more persons to oversee and to be responsible for.  When Christ said His servants will do greater works than He did, He in no way meant greater works interms of power or magnificence but in terms of the number of works.  Billy Graham and Paul both preached to more persons than did Christ as did many of the unknown men of God, humanly speaking. Christ of course preached through them.

When the shallow man, that is saved or thinks of himself as saved, believes he must demand complete “submission” from their “weaker” wives he is wresting Scripture out of context and trampling the Word(s) of God under foot. Some of these men and even some “preachers” believe the man must “wear the pants” in the marriage. Let me be clear on this topic. I do believe in the Spiritual headship of the husband and father in a Christ-ian marriage. I believe in the headship of the husband. I believe the wife should submit to the husband…”HER OWN husband” and not another man. If a “Christ-ian” man thinks my wife should submit to him because he is a big man and she is just a woman…he would be submitting to my ankle lock or arm bar within seconds (2nd’s), spiritually speaking.

The woman should submit to no man but her own husband (own as in owner-ship, her ownership of him, i mean) AND Christ, in terms of wifely duties in and out of the marriage bed. A woman should also submit to a pastor’s SCRIPTURAL teaching as it is the Word(s) of God. I do not say that a pastor should speak to another’s wife in private and direct her in the things of God…never…never… never ever…ever… ever.  It is a fool of a pastor to sits alone with another man’s wife and a poor husband that is not concerned about that dynamic.

No man of God should ever be in private with a woman that is not his wife or daughter or close relative. A woman, who is married, should never be in private with a man that is not her husband, father, or close relative. Before someone goes crazy, let me say, eating lunch with a client over business in a public place is sometimes unavoidable and this, I think God understands. I was once in a situation where a very pretty female client, that met me to discuss landscaping plans, wore a wet and white t-shirt with no bra on. I kept my eyes on her eyes and afterwards requested another person, a female, be assigned to that account.

As to a wife taking care of the household as in, domestic responsibilites such as,  bills, home’s maintenance needs, the husband’s schedule, (and to put him in his place when necessary or to disagree with him in terms of daily life); it is a wise husband that sees the benefit in these matters. Would the husband be wise or be a good head if he demanded that he takes care of things that he is not suited and his wife?

If my wife is better and more mindful of daily things and temporal duties, would I not be an idiot to take lead of these thing?  Let me be clear on this matter:  If you are an absent minded husband but you see it as your Christ-ian duty to take lead on temporal and household matters, you are a fool. If you are a wife and resent your husband because he leaves things in your hands, you are not seeing things as God would have you see things…read Proverbs 31.  If  husband and wife do not see that the wife, does in fact, do everything they are both out of line and ignorant to reality.  Read Proverbs thirty-one (31) and tell me the wife in that Proverb does not do everything.  She does and this is God’s will.

Do not take this the wrong way, wives and husbands, I am not saying the husband can sit around and watch her doing everything. In her doing everything, she can tell you what to do.  This is called “submit[ting] to one another.”  The man that sits around is not understanding God’s Word and directive at all. On the opposite side of things, the wife is to submit to the husband’s headship in Spiritual matters. The Scriptures tell us that the woman should not usurp the man’s authority. In context and in the greek this tells us that the wife should not ever take the lead in Spiritual headship…NEVER…unless the husband is deficient in his most important responsibilites. In her spiritual leadership, if the husband is deficient, she is to pray and ask God to deal with the husband on this matter.

A word on the role of women not being in spiritual leadership. While the Scriptures are clear that the woman must not usurp the spiritual authority, let me speak on a few exceptions.
*If the husband is lost or departs, the wife must be the spiritual lead. The wife should make this a matter of lifelong repentance if she was a believer before marriage and the husband was not. This is because God warned her in clear Words. The Lord has every right to take issue and chasten a daughter for life if a daughter marries a known unbeliever as could her children in later life. In the smaller picture, she has carelessly and in full knowledge subjected her children to a pagan. That may sound harsh and rough…it was meant to be. I struggle to have sympathy for a woman, a saved woman, who married a known rebel, who hates God. I would go sooo far as to say, a woman, a Christ-ian woman, should not conceive if she is married to a spiritual gentile.

Some metaphors:
*If a person brought another to be the victim of an abuser, would that person not be as guilty and culpable as the abuser; if not more so?  Believer, it is spiritual abuse to subject a child to an unbeliever or even a “believer” that is spiritually enemic.
*If you were asked by a childish and tempermental and verbally abusive boss for the names of potential employees or past co-wokers, would not your friend be fully justified in their anger and sense of betrayal, by your willfully subjecting them to a boss that abuses YOU? Methinks. “oh, yeah!

Going back to the marriage metaphor… if you are married to an abusive (coward, impotent in character, hate-filled, self-centered and self thinking, piece of or pile of fecies) man, or man so called, and you bring a child into this despotic kingdom of (s)atan, You…You…YOU would be open to God’s chastening and anger as well as the child or rather fellow-abusee’s anger later in life.

A woman that thinks bringing a baby into an abusive marriage, physical, mental, or verbal is a fool and a betrayer of that life; a life that is precious to God. That woman would be a fool and betrayer of that child before and during her pregnancy, post pregnancy, she must be the child’s refuge.

This woman could be repentant AND thankful for her child(ren) at the same time.  “WHAT!?” you might think or say.  How is that possible?  It is possible in the same sense that you are a saint and a sinner, at the same time, is a reality. I know of a woman, who was married to a sociopath, who purports to be a holy man of God, if not God Himself.

What should this woman think of herself with the above reality? If she repents for the suffering of her children under the vile despot, would she not be saying she is sorry for having these children?  Would her children then be a mistake? No…absolutely No!!! Have you never repented of a sin but still saw the blessings that came out of that sin? AND are even now thankful for that sin (as God works all things together for our good), while being sorry for your part in that sin? Reader, God is Sovereign over the seemingly contradictive aspects of our lives…know this. We can be repentant and thankful for the same thing at the same time…it may sound contradictory but it is not. Let me explain from Scripture.

God elects and chooses who He will save, yet every man is responsible and commanded to repent and believe in a voluntary spirit. Both are true and are true at the same time. This woman can be repentant and thankful for bringing children into the wicked kingdom of a (s)atanic despot at the same time. How? Glad you asked:
*There will be more witnesses against the spiritual bastard (I use the word bastard because he has no Heavenly Father) at the great white throne judgement.
*The woman needs support…”it is not good that [wo]man should to be alone” and a woman would be alone, humanly speaking, in an abusive marriage.
*Also, this will be a deeper thought and require deeper and more spiritual-thought energy, so put your thinking hat on……….Ready?…..  Since God chose who He would and would not save, and this woman finds her children being followers of Christ; it was within God’s will that she bring these lives into the world. We learn or could learn from Samson that God seeks opportunity against His enemies. Therefore, It is God’s will that this woman and these children, His children, suffer…..No!!! not suffer, but endure and persevere and come forth as gold and bring great glory to God as God sees them through all of it.

Also, each smiting: verbal, physical, mental, or emotional abuse, that the bastard struck will be returned unto him one hundred (100) fold by the Almighty, Sovereign God that loves her and her children and Hates, yes, hates the bastard. This is not only true of this specific woman; i know all God’s daughters, in this same position, will be honoured by the destruction of their abusers. God will be greatly glorified in and by the demonstration of His Godly , Holy, and Righteous Hate, Wrath, Fury, Anger…AND PLEASURE in His condemning (and the condemnation itself) of all abusers of His daughters. All His daughter will then understand all the whys of their lives.

Female reader, I acknowledge the above is a sensitive subject; I hope you receive this writer’s word in the intended manner in which he wrote it. That intended manner is a manner of love and concern. Female reader, I have said before and I trust, that in the Lord, I will say again; if you are in an abusive relationship tell me or someone else that could help in this matter and do not think it wrong to ask God to remedy your situation with any means that would glorify Him and help you…even the death of an abuser. Before someone thinks the last sentence un-Christ-ian; let me introduce myself to you as a person who lives in the real world and lives in the service of Christ, Who “was made [F]lesh” and understands “real life” perfectly.

I am trusting i have not been offensive in any way in this article. If ssomeone has been offended, I have two (2) things to say:
*I did not mean anything to be offensive.
*You have misread what i have written.

In summary, we are all weak…equally weak in relation to God. We are all weaker than the other in different ways. Each person should submit to each other in and according to their strengths and weaknesses. The husband being the appointed leader of a family is a gift to God’s daughter. The husband is head because Christ is the Head of the church. A husband that sees the wife’s gift in administration and asks her to take the lead in domestic affairs is leading wisely and can be considered to the pastoral office. The husband that is not wired for the domestic affairs of life but demands control anyway, due to pride and a MASSIVE and WILLFUL misunderstanding of Scripture, and then screws things up is a fool and is not leading his house well and is not qualified to pastor God’s flock as an under-shepherd.

Therefore, I am not a feminist because I need not be to see my wife is egual and loved and treasured by God. The wife is weaker than the husband in some areas as he is weaker than she in others and both are weaker than God.

Godspeed.